Never Together
by DauntlessTheBrave
Summary: Set after the Hunger Games, Katniss & Peeta arrive home to District Twelve, and things are not how Katniss expected. Will Gale, best friend & hunting partner turn his back on her, or will he forgive her for what she has tortured him with, watching her on the screen with Peeta? Will things ever be the same between Katniss and Gale? My name is Katniss Everdeen, and this is my story.


Gale.

Friend, hunter, cousin, lover, fighter, rebel, miner, Gale.

What is Gale to me, and how do I explain my betrayal to him, even through the Games? Was winning the games really enough to love Peeta?

How could I turn my back on the only friend of my life, and hurt him so badly as if I really did love the boy with the bread?

My name is Katniss Everdeen.

And this is my story.

* * *

The door of the train slides open and I stumble out, my hand falling from Peeta's as I spot the one person whom my life belongs to. The crowd parts as I make my way, eyes wide, towards him. I break into a jog, a run. Because I know how he must be feeling. And I'd pay anything in the world to erase that feeling for him.

My Gale.

The world seems to slow down as I launch myself into his arms, eyes closed and bury my face in his chest. _Gale…_ He's here. Real and warm and comforting and here. My Gale. I'm home at last.

He holds me tight, murmuring over and over again, as i loose myself in him, his smell, his clothes, his rough hands comforting me, everything about him is the same, perfectly _Gale, _just the way I like it. I crush myself to him, never wanting to let go.

And I know immediately that he's the one I want. And I choose him because he's the one I need in my future. I want to spend eternity with Gale.

But as I look back at Peeta, a wave on uncertainty washes over me as my eyes find his and the anguish and betrayal within, along with the love for me. I see him standing there, alone and I immediately feel guilty. Because what would I say to him?

Someone clears their throat and I let go of Gale reluctantly and step away, my eyes never leaving his face as I take Peeta's hand and he leads me away. I hope he saw it in my eyes how much he means to me… and I'm sorry. _Please… I'll explain it all later, I promise! It's not what you think…_

But as Peeta pulls me down the path in the crowd made by our escorts, I can see he believes the lies I've been forced into. The lies that will forever separate me from Gale. The lies that the Capitol is forcing me to live, the lies I used to stay alive in the Arena.

The lie that I'm in love with Peeta.

And as I stare into his face, a flicker of emotions flash across his face, that want me to rip my hand from Peeta's grip and run to him, shout at him, tell him it's all a lie, that I'd never cause you such pain… as hate, disbelief, anger, hurt and agony flash across his face, a spasm of pain tears through my chest and I'm sure that my heart just tore apart, I reach up and clutch at my chest to check that it still remains whole, because the pain is so intense I'm sure that somehow it tore…

I stretch my hand out to him as we are lost in the crowd, Peeta pulls me to him and scoops me up, knocking my knees out from under me and I'm half glad, because I'm not sure I could stand much longer, and half angry, because I'm perfectly capable of walking myself. And as Peeta pushes his way through the crowd with me in his arms, I search the sea of faces for my Prim, _My Prim, _My little duck, and my mum, my poor old weak mother, had Gale held his promise and looked after them?

What am I saying? Of course he did! Because no matter how much pain he was in, he couldn't, and wouldn't turn his back on my family. They are my life. He knows how much they matter to me, so much that I'd die for them easily, so long as they remain safe. I took his word on it, and made him swear that whatever happens, my family is what matters.

And as my gaze scans the crowd, I see a light yellow head bobbing in the crowd, their hair in plaits and I immediately recognize her. My Prim, Primrose Everdeen, my precious little sister, is alive and healthy. I scream her name and struggle in Peeta's grasp, he looks down at me sadly with those blue eyes and carries me to the podium without another word.

As we mount the steps, Prim is lost in the crowd and I can no longer see the ones I love. All through the ceremony, I'm unfocused, because all I care about is my family right now. Can't they understand that I don't _care_ about their stupid ceremony, that I'm desperate to see my sister? Peeta has to nudge me several times to get some words out of me, and I'm relieved when Peeta lifts my hand and the bouquet of flowers in the air as the speech closes and we are showered with confetti. I close my eyes, to some it might look like I'm savouring the moment, celebrating the victory and basking in glory, but under my lids I'm willing it to be over so that I can forget that this ever happened.

The rest of the day is a blur as we are showered in gifts and money as the victors, taken to our Victor's Village, congratulated over and over by a drunk Haymitch and a beaming Effie, and the whole time I'm being silently tortured, to have your family and loved ones so near and so unreachable, Peeta kisses me for the camera and that's all I can take.

When everyone's settled down a bit and I've had my million congratulations and fame, Haymitch asks me what I want to see next.

"Well! You actually ask _me _what I want to do!" I snap. "For god's sake, I want to see my _family! _Do you know how long I've suffered to wait for the moment to see them?"

Peeta touches my arm and looks at me with those blue eyes. "Katniss, we all want to see our families. But we had to get the ceremony over with."

Haymitch is seething. "Do you know how much time and effort and not to mention money we've spent planning this victory for you? Hmm boy? Then for you to just throw it all away?" Even in his drunken state, this must mean something to him because of his tone of voice. "Some appreciation, Katniss!"

But it's Effie's reaction that makes me boil over with rage. "Oh, there's plenty of time for that, dear." She croons, waving a polished hand. "I'm sure you've all missed your _dear _parents and families, but how about we take a look at your new home! Oh, I heard that you even have a telephone in Victor's Village! How about that!" She trills.

I grit my teeth, seething. "Take me to my family, Haymitch."

And he does.

As soon as I walk in the door, there she is. Prim, up close is healthy and well. Her hair is in plaits and she's wearing a dress. "Just for you," She whispers to me after I've scooped her up in my arms and held her tight. I spot my mother and hug her.

"Mum… I'm proud of you. For looking after Prim." She smiles at me, her face wet with tears, no words needed. I laugh and hug her again. "Thanks, mum."

The door opens, and I sigh, turning around slowly, not wanting to face the Haymitch I know will be there, demanding I get back to Peeta and celebrate more or something, and my eyes widen in surprise when I see who stands there instead.

Gale.

He smiles ruefully when he sees me.

"Hey, Catnip. Thought I'd find you here." He says.

"Gale," I breathe, a wide grin stretching across my face. I stumble forward and wrap my arms around him, breathing in the familiar scent of him, feeling his hard muscles beneath his shirt. He laughs breathlessly and pulls me out the door, pausing briefly to call to my mother.

"We'll be back later, Mrs. Everdeen. I'll take care of her," He promises before closing the door behind us and as I'm still hugging him, when he spins me around I squeak into his chest and clutch him tighter until he puts me down.

And I cry into his chest, even though I'm unbelievably happy, I can't believe that he's here, and that he doesn't hate me for what I've done to him with Peeta.

* * *

As me and Gale sneak out under the fence to our meadow, where we hunt, and as time catches up to me, I find myself sitting at the base of a tree with Gale, shoulder to shoulder as we talk, the sun setting below the horizon and the game we caught cooking over a small fire. I chew my food absentmindedly, staring off into the sky thinking about nothing. It's nice for a change, until Gale breaks the silence with the question that brings the memories flooding back.

"What's it like… being in the Arena?"

The images flash before my eyes. Me running from the Careers, me up a tree, the fire, me and Rue and the explosion as we blow up the food supplies, me finding Peeta, me and Peeta in a cave, me, Peeta and Cato on the Cornucopia, the mutts, me and Peeta holding out the berries…

All this happens in one second and I'm grasping the tree for support, my eyes wide, gasping for air.

"Katniss? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." Gale's voice brings me back to the forest, safe where I belong, his gaze worried as he looks at me.

"No… it's fine." I pause for a minute, searching for a way to describe the torture of the Arena.

"It's like… being sentenced to death… and just waiting, for the moment when the axe will swing down and end your life… it could be anytime… and you're the victim… and the axe… you could end _anyone's _life… and you have to." I speak with no emotion in my voice, not looking at Gale, just staring off into the sky as the horror of the Arena returns, and I'm lost in the memory. I blink, looking back at him.

"But I had Peeta… and Rue," I say.

He looks away at this. "I know," He says. Bitterly, distasteful. I realise he's talking about Peeta.

I am immediately angered by his words. "It's not what you -"

He cuts me off, looking back at me to look me in the eye. "Yes _it is_, Katniss. Don't pretend it wasn't. You know I would've volunteered for Peeta, I would have volunteered for _anything _to protect you, but I didn't. I didn't because I swore to you that I would protect your family, and I couldn't break my word on that for you."

"Gale," I say, tears in my eyes, because I didn't know he felt so strongly that way. "It isn't what you think. It isn't, Gale. I would never do that to you. The whole star-crossed lovers thing, that was a _lie. _I never loved Peeta. But that's how I stayed _alive. _Isn't that what matters? The Capitol wanted something new and I gave it to them. _I never loved Peeta."_

Gale just shakes his head. "I saw the way you kissed him. You'd never kiss me like that."

I fire up. "Oh, so it's about that now, is it? Gale, stop being so blind! That was the only way I could stay _alive, _Gale, it was all for the cameras! Me and Haymitch, we had it all worked out! Food for action with Peeta for the camera! And this is about how I _kiss him? _You want me to prove it?" I launch myself at him and tackle him to the ground, kissing him fiercely on the lips. I'm so angry, can't he see that I'm telling the truth? Gale… I couldn't love anyone else. It's impossible.

Gale moans slightly under me and I realise I'm pinning him to the forest floor. I lift myself up on one elbow, my face softening as I look down at him. "I was thinking about you," I whisper. He pulls me down on top of him again, a wild light in his eyes. My lips crash down on his again and I melt at his touch, his arms find my hair, my back, my waist.

I break the kiss for air, the desire still bright in _his_ eyes.

"Do you believe me now," I growl.

"Katniss," He says breathlessly, gazing up at my face, a slightly dazed look in his eyes. "Katniss… run away with me," I freeze, and he continues. "Run away with me Katniss. I know we could make it. Run away with me and escape all this… the Capitol, the Hunger Games… we'd be free. Take the kids, even, if you want. Katniss…" His voice drops to a whisper.

"Katniss, please. I… I love you, Katniss."

And I'm scrambling back, away from him, backing into a tree; I shake my head, my eyes wide. "No… Gale," I choke out through the tears that now wet my face. "No," I whisper.

"Katniss… why? Why are you _doing _this to me?" Gale whispers, the sadness, rejection and longing guarded in his eyes.

"Gale… I – I can't, Gale," I say.

"_Why, _Katniss?" Gale says furiously. "_Why? _Is it just because of Baker Boy, that Peeta Mellark -"

"No Gale," I say, tears streaking down my face, my eyes full of sadness. "You don't understand. I can't run away Gale, the Capitol…" I break off with a sigh. "It's complicated…" I say, miserably. I stare at the forest floor, waiting for Gale's response.

"Katniss…" He says finally. He scoots over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and suddenly I'm crying, and he's comforting me and I pour out my story to him, I pour out my _heart. _

"Gale… the Capitols angry with the stunt with the berries…. And I ***sob*** the only explanation… ***sob* **the only way we can pull it off… is to pretend that I'm so madly in love with Peeta… that I just… I just couldn't bear to live without him…" I whisper. "Oh, Gale… I'm so sorry…"

I look up at his face through a haze of tears, and I hate the pain I'm causing him, I hate the Capitol, hate Peeta, hate the Hunger games, hate myself, as realisation sinks in.

"Katniss, that doesn't change anything, we can still run, bring everyone with us…" He trails off desperately. He knows there nothing he can do, he's trying to convince himself otherwise, not wanting to believe it's true…

"No, Gale. We can't," I say. "If me and Peeta aren't together, everything will fall apart. And… so will we." I avoid his gaze, staring off into the trees as the sun slips below the horizon. "Everyone I love… you're all in danger. Peeta, Prim, my mother, you, all your family…"

I turn back to me, and the look in his eyes is so intense, so full of emotion that I can't look away. "You have to love Peeta," He says, as if every word cuts into him like a knife cuts his heart. "You don't have a choice…"

I close my eyes and rest my head against his chest.

There's no running from the truth. And we both know it.

We will never be together.

* * *

My name is Katniss Everdeen.

And this is my story.

Never Together: Bound by Love.

Inspired by "Hard To Love" by Lee Brice

Reviews are greatly appreciated!

Thanks for Reading!

xoxoxox


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